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Stay-at-Home Mom
Tags: Internet-MediaInternet/MediaMen's Point of ViewSAHM stay at home momStay-at-Home Mom
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Tags: In Praise of Stay-at-Home MomsResponse To A CommentSexSexualityStay-at-Home Mom
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05/13/2010
IconI'm traveling this week, doing my radio program from Detroit and then from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, so I thought I'd feature a guest blogger today, who wrote in with the following comments: Hi, Dr. Laura!I am a stay-at-home mom of two beautiful children, ages 4 1/2 and almost 2.' I have been a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) since the middle of my first pregnancy.' I just picked up your book "In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms," and read it cover-to-cover in two days.' At first, the book made me angry.' Not at anything you said, but it stirred up some old emotions in me that I thought I had buried long ago. You see, I have felt a lot of negativity from my in-laws since the day my husband and I decided that I would quit my job to stay home to raise our family.' My mother-in-law and father-in-law, and even both brothers-in-law and their wives, who all have children in day care, felt that I was not pulling my weight-that I was a burden on my husband, and that my children should be in day care.' Can you imagine?!! My husband and I lead a completely different lifestyle from them, but that didn't seem to matter to them. We don't have a thirty foot trailer for camping, and it's not important for us to have brand new SUVs or granite countertops.' We can have those material things in due time, if we choose. Reading your book made me think about the past again, the way my children and I have been treated over the years, and it brought back all the anger and resentment.' As I continued reading your book, it clicked!' My in-laws are jealous of the quality time that I get to spend with my children every day.' Also, the biggie for me:' happiness is a matter of perspective.' Both my husband and I feel like we are doing the right thing by having me stay-at-home and that's all that matters.' Period. In a quest to keep the right perspective, I have started journaling my proud "mommy moments," and I thought I would share this with you.' Perhaps this might help other SAHMs keep a positive outlook, too.' There's no denying that being a full-time stay-at-home mom is both rewarding and challenging.' So, I started journaling all the wonderful moments that I experience with my children on a daily basis - the moments I would never be able to experience via Mommy-cam. Today, my daughter lovingly brushed the hair away from my forehead and kissed me sweetly on my forehead, just as I have done to her countless times.' I wrote it down.' When my little boy wraps his pudgy arms around my legs and squeezes me with all his might, I write it down.' That way, when things get tough, which they will, I can quickly glance over my Mommy journal and see why I'm doing this again, to help me keep a positive outlook.' I know this won't make whatever is troubling me magically disappear, but I do think that seeing what's positive and wonderful in my life will help to clear my head and give me strength for Round 2 and 3. You have been such a wonderful influence on me, Dr. Laura.' Thank you for helping to lift my chin, so when people ask me what I do for a living, I can respond, smiling, "I am a proud FULL-time stay-at-home Mommy and I love my life." God bless you and yours, C. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenIn Praise of Stay-at-Home MomsMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingRegarding Dr. LauraStay-at-Home MomStay-At-Home-Moms
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Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenParentingSexStay-at-Home MomStay-At-Home-Moms
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Tags: AbuseChild AbuseFamily/Relationships - ChildrenIn Praise of Stay-at-Home MomsMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingRegarding Dr. LauraSexStay-at-Home MomStay-At-Home-Moms
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Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenIn Praise of Stay-at-Home MomsMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingRegarding Dr. LauraSexStay-at-Home MomStay-At-Home-Moms
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05/13/2010
IconToday, I'm turning my blog over to Nicole, who wrote the following: Dr. Laura: I'm glad to be able to tell you I'm sorry, but you had nothing to do with my long-ago-made decision to be an at-home mom to my children.' I made that choice long before I started listening to you (at the ancient age of 19). I am nearly 29 and extremely proud to tell you that my very own Mom was "her kids' mom" all my growing-up life.' She did this while it was very popular to go to work, have a career and leave kids with the sitter or latch-key programs.' I had very little idea that moms even went to work until friends or teachers would ask me what my mom "did."' I'd look at them weirdly and think it was a funny question to ask...she lives at home and bakes, fixes our meals, does the laundry, picks us up from school every day, and watches my younger siblings!' Who else would do those things if Mom didn't? I remember going home in the first grade and asking Mom what her job title was, because the teacher needed to know for our yearbook.' "Homemaker," she'd say proudly!' She has been my biggest influence in modeling and reinforcing what a stay-at-home mom should look like...creative, resourceful, smart, kind, loving and self-sacrificing (and always beautiful)!' Your preaching, teaching, and nagging only reinforces the atmosphere I grew up with. Thanks for all you do for all the women who didn't grow up with my Mom. Nicole P.S.' I will give you this - you did help me when I was seeking and selecting my husband.' I had to find a man who would SUPPORT me in my long-ago-made "choice of lifestyle."' I found him, and COULD NOT have done ANY better!' And, of course, Mom approves too! More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenParentingStay-at-Home MomStay-At-Home-Moms
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05/13/2010
IconI don't think I've ever known a more magnanimous group of people than bikers.' They get together to support an incredible range of charities in spite of the reality that they are generally not in the top 10% of America's most wealthy.' Instead, they have the biggest hearts and are willing to share and do what it takes to be helpful to others in need - a truly remarkable group.Since I've been riding my Harley-Davidson Road King trike, I've experienced first-hand the camaraderie of bikers.' Whenever bikers pass each other, they signal a kind of "hello" by raising their straightened left hand slightly.' I am unaware of "road rage" behavior from bikers.' It's the car drivers, seated in their metal containers, who seem to feel a sense of ownership of every part of the road on which they find themselves.' Cars will cut off other cars with millimeters to spare, offering a finger gesture in response to the shocked or frightened motorist who has just been subjected to their outrageous maneuvering.' Some will even wield a gun if particularly annoyed by being inconvenienced or held accountable for vehicular misbehavior.The first time I went on a major road with my bike, it was scary.' I'd always pull over to the right to allow speeding cars to move past.' The most frightening was when two lanes merged into one, and many drivers would speed to 70 or 90 mph just to gain an advantage and get past the bike.' Now I see the safety factor in riding in a group! More >>

Tags: In Praise of Stay-at-Home MomsMorals, Ethics, ValuesStay-at-Home Mom
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05/13/2010
IconThis came from Kami, one of my radio listeners: I am a stay-at-home Mom with a Master's degree who chose to quit my job to raise my three sons (ages 5, 2, and 11 months).' I never dreamed of growing up to be a Mom.' I wanted to use my brain, get an education, and change the world through my career.' Now, every day, I find myself using my brain, getting an education, and hopefully, changing my little piece of the world as I work to shape my boys into men. Instead of having them sit in daycare or pre-school for a big part of the week, I want my kids to play and read with me, and go to the library and find books of their own.' I want the freedom of knowing I can wake up and decide that we are going to hang out in our pjs until noon, and make bread or watch the birds building nests on our porch.' I want to help them make forts and play "hide 'n seek," and go on adventure walks around the neighborhood, even though it takes us twenty minutes to get past two houses.' I want them to go to the store and pick out their own veggie seeds to plant in the garden.' I want them to have snowball fights with me when I'm shoveling the driveway, and to help me fix dinner for someone who is sick. My son has taught me so many things while he wasn't in pre-school.' I learned that yogurt, pudding, and shaving cream can be used to draw with your finger; that bad weather, not necessity, is the mother of invention when it comes to craft projects; that math can be learned when baking cookies, cleaning up toys, handing out snacks, and putting away laundry; that some of the best talks happen in my bed when we just don't feel like getting up. And talk we do.' We talk about life and death, how planes work, where snow comes from, and whether pirates are decent.' We study geography as we drive around doing errands, and learn about engineering as we watch the progression of building construction.' We even tried to figure out why God made flies. From the moment my first child was born, my life has been about my children, and some of those sweet moments can bring me to tears when I think about how fleeting they are.' My kids will get to be little, and they'll get to have fun.' They are not in a hurry - and neither am I." More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenParentingStay-at-Home MomStay-At-Home-Moms
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05/13/2010
IconOne of the criticisms lobbed at the home-schooling community/movement is that home-schooled children are being shielded from diversity and a multitude of challenging influences which will ultimately handicap them in their ability to function in the "real world."' In other words, "How will these children function in our diverse, multicultural society when they are raised in a setting with monolithic views and beliefs?"Research examining home-schooled students' academic achievements have consistently found that they score higher than the national norms on standard achievement tests.' So the only grenade left to throw at home-schooling parents is that they are hurting their children socially and emotionally.' The few studies in these areas have generally found home-schooled children to have equal or better self-esteem than traditionally schooled students.' Then the argument becomes one of how to truly know you are measuring self-esteem.Researchers from the Department of Psychology at Belhaven College in Jackson, Mississippi recently published their findings in Home School Researcher (Vol. 17, No. 4, 2007, pp. 1-7).' They decided to study home-schooled students' ability to successfully adjust to college life as an important criterion for demonstrating a positive outcome (or not) of home-schooling.They compared Christian college freshmen who had previously been home-schooled with a matched sample of traditionally schooled Christian freshmen on the College Adjustment Scale.' The average scores of the two groups were compared across nine scales designed to measure emotional, behavioral, social, and academic problems as typically presented to university counseling centers.The home-schooled students scored significantly lower on the anxiety subscale, while no difference was found between the two groups on the remaining scales.' Additionally, there was a general trend characterized by home-schooled students reporting fewer symptoms of emotional distress and social problems, and achieving higher first semester GPAs: The results suggest that home-schooled college freshmen successfully adjust to the social and academic environment of a Christian college with a diverse student population.' The college does not require that all students attending the college assent to a personal faith in Christ.' The previously home-schooled students are also confronted by many peers who make lifestyle choices different from their own.' Most of the college peers of the home-schooled students would be considered less conservative in their dress, entertainment interests, moral values and behaviors, than those typically experienced in most Christian home-schooled families.' Therefore, these students are not entering a homogeneous social community that necessarily mirrors their family backgrounds." Obviously, home-schooled students have additional adjustments to make when leaving their homes and entering a university or college environment:' social relationship, peer pressure, classroom structure, etc.' They are being forced to adapt to a social environment decidedly different from their homes or home school support groups.The results demonstrate that home-schooled students are able to successfully adapt emotionally, interpersonally, and academically to their first, and most challenging, semester in college.' That is probably because, having had the consistent teaching and support of a family and a community, they have developed strengths and convictions that provide a bridge over the troubled waters of a multitude of challenges and temptations.I personally believe that home-schooling helps students who have problems with focus and difficulties with energy control.' The traditional school environment required "Stepford Child" control, and the teaching techniques required for a group of thirty do not necessarily assist the learning needs and talents of each individual student.' So, instead of drugging kids to be docile, perhaps we should turn to the successes of home-schooling. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenHomeschoolHomeschoolingParentingSocial IssuesStay-at-Home Mom
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